Rejected Heart
by JesAFan
Summary: This one-shot is not kittens and rainbows. Major character deaths. There is no happy ending. If you dare enter, you have been warned. Paul was always against imprinting so when it happened to him, he left. Years later when he finally returns, he sees what his rejection has caused.


**I'm warning you now...this is not a happy ending story. Major character deaths.**

 **Rate M for language. Drug use.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own it. SM does. I just use it for my own sick and twisted pleasures.**

He walked in to a house he hadn't walked into in years. The smell of food wafting through the air brought him back to yesteryear. A time when they were all young and naïve, protecting their people from those who wanted to bring harm. Supernatural beings.

The familiar surroundings bringing back memories crashing into the forefront of his mind. The good time, the bad, the playful years and the serious life changing times. Fate it seemed liked to play with their lives and their emotions. Connecting one soul to another in a supernatural matching making game.

He wasn't for it. Not having a choice in the matter pissed him off to no degree. It was unfair to either party. How were they to come together just because some unseen force demanded it so. And when worlds did collide the human part of them were left to deal with the aftermath. Hearts broken, futures changed, lives altered, leaving an emotional cluster fuck in its wake.

He left. He didn't want anything to do with it because he didn't want to be responsible for taking away someone choices, someone's preferred future. It took everything he had in him to leave. He pulled against the pull, tugged against the tug. He introduced his middle finger to the fates as he fought a life they demanded to place upon him. He didn't want it. He wanted nothing to do with it. So he did the next best thing...he left.

He left behind his beloved pack. His brothers who had his back. He left behind the only family who ever cared for him despite his volatile nature. He left his home and left his friends all so he could escape a future forced upon him. Forced upon another. The fates trying to entwine his life with another by supernatural magic and taking away his choice, his chance, his freedom.

He made a new life for himself. He made a new future for himself. It took years but he did it. Years for the pain to subside or at least to learn how to push it down and bury it. Years to learn how to live with the pain, to push through the pain. It took another few years to finally settle into a normal routine.

The pain lessen when he cut his ties to his pack. His family. He never thought he would ever have made this choice but his other choices were being robbed from him and if he wanted to live life on his terms, there were tough choices he just had to make. Leaving was one, breaking his ties was another. It was made easier when he found another pack.

He did his research. He found he like the alpha because they held similar views. Fuck the leeches! If it wasn't for them, they wouldn't be force into this life of protectors. A life where someone else held their destiny in their hands.

He had to formally ask his alpha to release him. To go against everything he stood for and cast away a brother. He had to ask for his freedom. He had to fight for it. His alpha refusing to let go. He had to beg for it. In the end, his alpha understood. He granted him his wishes yet he let him know he would always be part of this pack. He would always be welcomed back. This was his home. This was his family.

He tried to convince himself he would never go back. He joined his new pack to help him keep his promises to himself. He actually fit right in. The new pack welcomed him with open arms. It took him months to get used to the new voices in his head. He used all his strength and willpower to become a better wolf. To become a better pack mate. To become a better brother.

He vowed to make a new image for himself. This self-loathing person he was, was no longer working for him. This volatile nature no longer fit with who he wanted to become. Fighting was second nature to him but he realized he did not need his anger to be a better fighter. He did not need his anger to push himself further. It was ironic to him how he became a better fighter once he let go of his anger. His clear head now making him that much more lethal.

So he did the impossible and he changed. His new pack helped him. His new brothers accepted him. His new alpha welcomed him and became his strongest ally in his resolve to change.

It was hard work. At times he didn't think he could do it. His wolf wanting him to stay the same, fighting against the changes. Fighting against his host. He thought his wolf might eventually abandon him, leaving him to be a shell of his former self. It was grueling work. It was a daily battle he fought within himself and outside of himself. It took years to tame the wolf but he was better for it.

Now he was so in tuned with his wolf, he no longer needed the anger to bring him out. He could phase on the fly as his former pack mate states about his former alpha's ability to phase. He was now a valuable member of the pack. He was trusted to represent his new tribe when the alpha and beta were not able to. His former third position was granted to him due to all the hard work he had put in trying to become a better person.

He didn't have to fight for it. He didn't need to use his anger. Their third gave up his position to him. It was a logical choice. This new pack worked together as a team. There were no internal battles like his old pack. This new pack joined together to fight like a unit, each member having a valuable position. Each member having a say. The alpha of this pack had long established open communication with his pack. He had strengthen his pack by spreading his authority throughout the pack. Each member able to make a decision on his own when needed. The alpha commands rarely ever used. Every member had a say, a voice.

He had found a pack he was meant to be in. He was happy. Or so he told himself. Life has a funny way of letting you believe you are in control until it decides to pull the rug from under you. Today his rug was about to be pulled.

The memories caught up to him, making his wolf whine, making his pain resurface. He stopped and let all these old sensations flow through him. There was no use fighting them as he had learned in his quest to change. He invited his old memories to resurface to make themselves known. He stood still as he centered himself, regained his posture before he allowed himself to move forward.

He learned the 'what-ifs' were his true enemy. The 'what-ifs' never allowing him to move on, to let go, to live life. Now, as he stood in the old familiar kitchen, he let his old memories surround him and bring on the old feelings that threaten to overwhelm him but would not allow it. These feelings were no longer his enemies, they would not rule him, not overtake him. They were _his_ feelings, this was _his_ body, _he_ was in control. He had a choice to make at the moment and so he made the choice. The memories could flow, the emotions could flow but they would not overtake.

With a new resolve, he moved forward and greeted his past. As he reached out and placed his hand on the brass doorknob, his past came back to greet him. With the smooth swish of air passing by him, he took a step forward and stepped into his past. His old pack stood in various places in the backyard. They milled about as they mingled with each other. Nothing seemed to have changed. Everyone still look like they were stuck in time, stuck in an ageless state. A pack of teenage boys running around protecting their people.

It was his old alpha that spotted him first but it was his old pack mate that felt him arrive. Everyone turned as he walked out to the back. Greetings and welcomes resonated throughout the backyard, filling the already festive air with more celebration. He smiled as old familiar faces took turns greeting him. He hugged every single one except him.

He whose life had changed when the fates deemed him bound to him. He whose life crashed and imploded when he left. He who took his place as the volatile wolf when he decided to leave. For he was too drunk and intoxicated to bother greeting the one who abandon him. The one who rejected him.

It wasn't like he didn't make an effort to greet him. He said his hellos and was greeted with a 'fuck off' when he reached out to him. He understood. He had to work through his own demons to be able to move past this. He needed to face his own problems before he would be able to move forwards.

But if he had to honest with himself, it pained him to see him this way. Lost and rejected. Going through the motion of life but not really living. A hollow look now haunted his eyes. An empty vacant look to represent what he was feeling on the inside.

He had to push through the pain, reminding himself this was to give him back his choices. He chose to live this way and he had nothing to do with this. He didn't make his choices for him and he refused to no matter what the fates demanded. His life was his to live.

He shrugged his shoulders and went back to reuniting with his old friends. Catching up on gossip and new lives. Telling them how he was adjusting and how he was fitting into his new pack. All the while his wolf crying loudly in his ear. Scratching at the surface to get to him. He wanted him. He needed him. He was made for him. It was demanded by the gods it was!

But he would not let his wolf win this battle. It was not his life to live. It was not his world. He was here to protect not dictate how he would live his life or anyone else's life. His wolf would just have to settle down because he would not give in to the plan the fates laid out before him. He would not allow them to tell him how he should live and what would make him happy.

He continued to visit with his 'family' and enjoy their company while he made a fool of himself by getting drunker and drunker as the night wore on. His pack brothers trying and failing at controlling him. He snuck off to do his drugs and came back with liquid courage and artificial bravery.

He approached him and sneered at him. He despised him for rejecting him, for putting him through this hell.

'Go home!' He shouted. 'This is no longer your pack!' He reminded him. 'Leave! You're good at that!' He pushed but he wouldn't play into his games. The pack stood still ready for the fight that would ensue as he yelled at him to leave.

He sat there and felt pity for the yelling man. Pity that he would let his emotions run his life for him. Pity that the gods had done this to him. But he never made a move. It was obvious he needed this. He needed to tell him off. He needed to let it out.

He sat there and just stared at the man before him. He had lost a lot of weight. His clothes hung from his sickly gaunt frame. His cheeks were drawn in. His bag laden eyes were lifeless. His hair dull, dirty, and messy. The short stubble on his face aging him. His skin rough and ashy. Life had not been kind to him.

His pack pulled him away as he fought against their hold. He was weak. He was once every bit as strong as the pack but now he was weak. He couldn't get out of their hold. He couldn't shake them off as they dragged him away from his life, his heart, his soul. His wolf crying for his mate, whining, snarling, whimpering. It was a pitiful scene. A heart wrenching scene playing out before the pack.

'I wouldn't believe unless I saw it' his former alpha exclaimed. 'Paul Lahote, a changed man!' he continued. Paul sat there smiling on the outside but dying on the inside. His mate was not doing so good and it was his fault. No. It was the spirits fault. If they had not intervened and not force a future upon them, he could have fallen for him. He could of allowed himself to create a future together.

"Let it go Paul." Sam finally spoke out as he watched Paul sigh deeply with worry etched on his face. Paul looked at him with questions in his eyes. "He's dealing the best he knows how." He answered his unasked questions. Paul was disgusted. He knew better. He wasn't dealing, he was drowning. "We've tried to get him help but he is as stubborn as you are, _were_." Sam smiled as he remember his former pack mate being as stubborn and hard-headed as he was right now.

There was nothing he could do. There was nothing he could say.

It had been a long day and Paul was tired. He would have stayed with anyone of his former pack mates but decided it would be too much too soon so he got a room in town instead. He said his good-byes and see you tomorrow as he made his way back to his rental car. He would have never come back if it hasn't been on the insistence of his alpha. Somehow he just couldn't resist but now that he was back, he regretted it. He should have stayed away. He should have declined the offer.

He drove up to the parking lot of his hotel. He resolved to leave as soon as possible. The chaos his presence brought was not worth the heartache. It was getting to be too much. His new resolve was being tested. He almost gave in but had reminded himself this was just an artificial feeling he was being pulled into.

As he got out, he caught his scent. He was being followed. The wolf within the boy not able to get past the rejection. He knew he would have to face this sooner or later. He didn't think this was fair to either of them.

"Come out." He stated in a normal voice, knowing he could hear him from wherever he was hiding. They were friends before they were being force together. He missed that. He missed his friendship. The wolf within him whining, wanting his human host to give into the feeling. To let him love his mate without judging the spirits and their actions. They were meant to be but his human was against it.

As his mate drew closer, the wolf whined louder. Paul closed his eyes and forced the silver wolf within to behave. They would not give in to the forced bond. They would not let their choices be taken away. They would not let the spirits map out their lives for them.

It was only when he was closer that he could finally smell the salty tears that were shed and now long gone. Paul could also smell the drugs and alcohol coming from his intended mate. Paul sighed heavily as his heart grew heavy. Why? Why couldn't he just let it go? He asked him if he wanted this and Paul had said no. He had thought he made his intentions clear. He wanted nothing to do with forced love. He would be friends. They could always be best friends but the wolf within the other boy did not accept his terms. He wanted more. He wanted his mate.

Paul motioned for him to follow him inside. He sneered at him but followed anyways, his wolf crying for his mate. He could not tell him no. It was in his nature to give Paul whatever he needed, whatever he wanted and right now he wanted him to follow him inside. They walked quietly inside. Paul walking ahead of him. People in the lobby staring at the homeless looking boy following a well-dressed man. Paul paid them no mind. He didn't care what other thought. He couldn't be bother with them. His main concern was for the boy following him at the moment.

He needed to set him straight. This time he would not leave until he was okay. Until he fought against this pull as much as Paul did. They were not meant to be together. At least not like this. Paul wanted more for him. He wanted him to have choices.

Paul walked into his room, leaving the door open for him to follow Paul inside. He stumbled in and went straight for the mini-frig looking for the alcohol he knew would soothe the hurt. The alcohol he used to quiet his wolf. He plopped down onto the couch with several little bottles in his hand and begun to empty their contents into his body. The slow burning traveling down his throat a welcome familiar feeling. He needed this. This was the only way he could deal. It was the only way to dull the ache. He shook his head and chuckled sadly.

Imprinting was a good thing they told him. He would be granted his soulmate. They would live happily ever after. The imprint would bring them together. It would make the other fall head over heels for him. They would want this as much as he did.

 _BULLSHIT_! He thought as he emptied another bottle. What was he even doing here? Paul didn't want him. Why couldn't he stop himself from following him? What the fuck was Paul doing back anyways? He had abandon him. He had abandon his pack. Yet here he was and here was Paul. He sneered at the thought of Paul and the conversation they had so long ago. He hated that he begged Paul to reconsider. He hated that he cried for Paul. He hated that he had imprinted on Paul.

Paul walked back into the room. Without a word said between the two, Paul picked up the empty bottles and tossed them in the trash. He then proceeded to take away the currently lit joint from him and snuff it out. Paul would not put up with this behavior. He was killing himself over something he thought he wanted.

He put up a fight. He didn't want Paul to take care of him. He had made it obviously clear that he did not want that role. He had left him and rejected him. Now he was trying to take care of him. _I don't think so!_ He thought as he took out another joint and lit it. This time it was Paul's turn to sneer. He walked over to him and reached out for the joint. He held it securely out of Paul's reach. _Not this time!_ He took another long drag and held it in with Paul eyeing him. When he let out the smoke in a coughing fit, Paul grabbed the joint and snuffed it out along with the other one.

"Hey man! I wasn't finished with that!" he complained between coughs. Paul sat and looked at him. "What?" he yelled at his mate. "What the fuck you staring at?! I ain't yours! You made that clear!" he spat Paul's way, making the older wolf wince. Paul sat back just looking at him. They were so young when fate threw them together. Paul was barely eighteen, out on his own since he was sixteen. His mate was only fifteen. _He_ hadn't even lived life yet. _He_ hadn't even dated. _He_ was forced to become a protector, to give up his life so that others could live theirs, blissfully unaware of the dangers the supernatural world brought upon them.

Paul left to give _him_ a chance to live. _He_ didn't like it. _He_ wanted to leave with Paul. Paul wouldn't have it. He wouldn't let _him_ give up living just because fate told him too.

 _He_ gave Paul an ultimatum. Either take him with him or get the fuck out of his life. Paul begged him not to do this but he insisted. So Paul walked away.

Now he sat before him wasted out of his fucking mind, trying desperately to dull the pain that had become a permanent part of his life. A pain so intense there are times he is unable to get up. It felt like he was having a heart attack. At any minute his heart would give out and he would finally be free of this pain but the spirits never graced him with the sweet relief of death. Instead he lived because Paul lived. He didn't understand it. He had been rejected. Should he have not died because of the rejection? Shouldn't Paul be joining him in the afterlife? It would be his luck Paul would reject him then too. He snorted with that last thought.

Paul sighed again as he leaned forward and tapped _him_ on the side of his knee to get his attention. _His_ world froze.

The touch. It was electrifying. A jolt of electricity running through his body, waking up all his dulled out senses. The touch he wanted. The touch he craved. His head was swimming as he closed his eyes and relished in the small moment of touch. One he knew he would probably never feel again. When he opened his eyes, he was not prepared for what he saw. Paul sat there, frozen. The touch obviously having the same effect on Paul as it did on him.

Electricity shot up his arm and radiated throughout his body. Paul had never felt anything like it. It was almost addicting. He fought with himself as he tried to center himself and calm his wolf. His wolf now crying out loudly, drowning out any other sound around him. He couldn't focus on anything that was around him. His vision tunneled as his heart fought to jump out of his chest and run to its owner. His soul awaken with a voltage so powerful, he felt as if the wind was knocked out of him.

He was so lost after the touch, he failed to notice _him_ taking something out of his pocket and placing it in his mouth. _He_ quickly swallowed and waited for the contents to have its effect on him. The pain too much to handle. The touch too much for his body to handle. His wolf growling and snarling, angry the touch was over too soon.

Paul seemed to have shaken off the feeling. He sighed heavily again and was about to reach out again when he caught himself. His hand hanging in midair. _He_ sat there staring at the hand hanging in midair. He unknowingly held his breath, bracing for the touch. Wanting to feel it again. Craving to have his hand on him. But it was not to be. Paul retreated his hand and cleared his throat.

"Brady. What are you doing to yourself, man?" Paul asked, concern lacing his voice. Brady sat looking at him and snorted again.

"Fuck off! What do you care?" he sneered at his mate.

"I told you once and I'll tell you again. I care. I care a lot…" he started to talk.

"BULLSHIT! IF YOU CARED YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT! YOU WOULDN'T HAVE REJECTED ME!" he screamed at Paul.

"Bray, I told you why I left. We were so young. It was too soon. It was not right. Maybe in another life but not this one." He rushed to explain as Brady stood up, no longer wanting to hear the bullshit.

"So you're rejecting me again?" Brady stood looking at Paul, challenging him to say the words and break his heart and spirit once more. Paul had a pleading look, not wanting to do this anymore. "That's what I thought. You know what, I'm out! I don't even know why I followed you here. My stupid wolf still wants you but …" he couldn't finish his sentence. It hurt too much to admit. He was a reject.

"Don't, please. Bray, stay." He begged. He knew if he let him leave, Brady would end up getting more fucked up then he already was.

"For what?" his voice cracked as he tried to talk over the lump forming in his throat. "So you can kick me out later? HUH?! Fuck you man! Just fuck you." Brady stated as his eyes betrayed him and let the tears flow down his cheeks. Paul didn't know what to do. He was never good with emotions. He could barely handle his own. Brady made his way towards the door, as his wolf howled for his mate. _He's not our mate. For once the spirits were wrong, boy._ Brady thought to his wolf.

"Brady." Paul tried once more. Brady stopped with his hand on the door handle. He leaned his forehead on the door. He stiffened as he felt Paul close the distance between them. "I'm sorry." He softly whispered as he hesitantly reached out and grabbed hold of Brady's bicep. Brady gasped as he felt the touch again. He wanted so much to turn around and capture Paul's lips. He wanted so much to be accepted but he knew that was not his fate. With so much pain, Brady ripped his arm out of Paul's grasp.

He opened the door and walked away from his heart. He left behind his soul as he made his way outside. The pain too much to contain in his weaken body. He couldn't take much more. His love had been rejected one too many times. His heart stomped on and left on the ground bleeding to death. The pain was growing with every step he took. He felt like he was walking in waist deep mud. Trudging away from his world. He pushed past the people in the lobby, never apologizing for his brashness. He finally made it to the door and disappeared into the night.

 _Days later…_

 _I'm sorry Brady. I never meant for this to happen. I did love you but I was too afraid to take away your freedom. When you left my hotel that night, I wanted to run after you and tell you I was ready to accept you but my body was frozen where I stood. I was too late. You had walked away and took my heart with you. As soon as I touched you, I finally understood. I finally understood the pain, the want, the crave._

 _I never meant for this to end this way. You were still so young. We had our whole lives ahead of us. In that one touch, I was willing to give up my new pack and come home. I should have made you stayed. I should of ran after you. I should have done something. Anything! Now I will never have that chance. I will never be able to feel the love you were so willing to shower me with. I will never know what it is like to have someone so willing to sacrifice everything for me. I came back because Jacob insisted but truth be told I came back to check up on you. The moment I laid eyes upon you, I was a goner. I wanted to run to you. I wanted to hold you. I wanted to tell you that I did love you and I did want you._

 _All those years away were hard. Not a day past that you were not on my mind. I thought of you often and wondered how you were. I fought against running back home to you. I fought against the fate._

 _I was wrong. And I am sorry. I only hope you let me love you in the afterlife._

"He's ready to go. You need to say your good-byes now." The doctor informed the crowd waiting in the living room. The sudden sound of the doctor's voice had some softly yelping in surprise. They had been there for hours waiting for the news. Jacob looked around at everyone and gave a nod. The women would be first to enter the room followed by the pack.

Quiet sobbing could be heard as they all prepared to say their good-byes. He had come home for a visit but now he was here to stay for the rest of eternity. He would be placed next to his heart and soul. Quite ironic since he had been running away from him. Now there would be no running, no denying. Paul and Brady would be together again in the afterlife.

The night Brady left his hotel, he went in search of his dealer. The pain coursing through his body was too much for him to take. The rejection causing old pain to surface. He wasn't thinking. He was on autopilot trying to stop his mind from thinking. He was already drunk and high but it wasn't enough. He needed more to stop the pain.

They found him two days later, down a dirty ally way. Alone with a needle sticking out of his arm. He had taken too much. It was too much for his heart to take. The pain, the drugs, the rejection all did him in. In the end, no one was there for him as he took his last breath. There was only one thought he had when he finally took his last breath…Paul. Even in the end, he thought of his imprint. Even up until the end, he hoped against hope about being with him but it was not to be.

The moment Brady left, Paul became depressed. He didn't know what to do. He had fought so hard to keep away, to give Brady a chance to live only to come home and find out he had become an addict because of Paul. His heart broke and pain radiated throughout his body. But there was one pain that he could not get rid of. It was the moment Brady left this world. Paul felt it. He cried out and fell to the floor. Something terrible was wrong but he was unable to go to him. He stayed curled up on the floor, unable to do anything.

The pack found him that way, two days later. He had not moved for two days. The stench of urine, feces, salt, and pain filled the hotel room. It was overwhelming to the pack's sensitive noses but they push through it. Paul was unconscious and his heart beat was slow. If it wasn't for sensitive wolf hearing, the pack would have thought him dead. They raced him to the leech doctor.

Physically, there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. He was healthy in every way but spiritually he was dying. His heart had died and now it was his turn. The bond of the imprint, although rejected in words, was still there. What no one knew was that Paul had come to accept Brady as his mate and he was willing to give him a chance until he saw the state he was in. Once he saw Brady had become addicted to drugs and alcohol, he blamed himself and so he was unable to form the words to accept him. He believed this time Brady would reject him and so he never had a chance to tell him. He let him walk away not knowing Paul was about to give him a chance.

Jacob was the last to enter the room. There on a hospital bed, laid his once strong fighter. The man he had so many arguments with, so many fights with. Now as he approached, tears fell from his eyes because this person lying on the bed before him was nothing but a shell of a man who used to be.

Skin and bones. Dry lips, hallow cheeks, dead eyes, ashen skin. Paul was on his last breaths of his life but he hung on so that the others could have closure. The closure he never granted Brady. His breath was swallow and Jacob knew he only had seconds to live. With a heavy heart he took Paul's hand and leaned into his ear and whispered, "Go to him Paul. He's waiting for you. You were a good friend. Go and rest in peace with him."

Those were his finally words to the once volatile wolf of the pack. After saying his peace, a small smile appeared on Paul's lips before taking his last breath and joining his heart in the spirit world. Jacob smiled at the sight before lying Paul's hand down and walking away. The pair will now be forever together. The imprint making sure one did not live without the other. Brady finally had his imprint.


End file.
